Anger is a natural emotion. A normal emotion. It can come as a normal reaction to frustration, criticism or a threatening situation and gives feelings of displeasure, dislike or irritation. You can also get angry as a delayed response to feelings of grief, sadness, loneliness or after having a fright.
But when it gets out of control and turns to rage,
a destructive form, it causes problems.
The obvious problems are relationships at work and at home. Personal relationships suffer. Work suffers from the loss of a promotion and maybe a reduction in earnings. But you also experience physical health changes with increased heart rate, increased blood pressure and increased adrenaline levels. In the long term, these also have a destructive impact on your health.
Although it can happen following an argument you may have started – this is not the most common cause. In most cases it is caused for a very real and valid reason where you feel you are at the receiving end of the behaviour of others, or a righteous anger at the way things are going in the world.
Common triggers at home are grief, burglary, an illness or news of an illness, or financial issues. Other triggers can make this worse such as traffic jams, queues, rude service or things not working correctly. At work, stress from deadlines or things not going well or awkward customers or colleagues can also be a trigger.
The physical health changes of an increased heart rate increased blood pressure and increased adrenaline levels produce an increased risk of a heart attack or stroke. It also produces headaches, backache, insomnia, digestive problems and an increased susceptibility to colds and flu. It can often lead to depression.
The phrase used most commonly to deal with anger. It is a way of controlling the destructive parts by dealing with it in a positive way. Because it is normal reaction you cannot “be cured”, but you can get help to manage it constructively.
This is one of the best ways of dealing with your anger. You work with a trained counsellor to work out what makes you angry and then learn how to respond in a non-aggressive way and how to re-direct the energy you normally use in getting angry into problem-solving instead.
This sounds easy. It is, in theory, but can be harder in practice. Having an independent person to look at situations can be helpful in finding new ways of dealing with situations. They can also offer reassurance when new behaviours relapse on occasion.
A good therapist may help you develop a plan of action when you sense your anger levels rising. This will help deal with everyday situations in a calmer manner than before.
Many successful business leaders follow anger plans to keep them calm enough to make sensible decisions when faced with situations that are annoying and frustrating.
Mynurva provides counselling for anger issues with trained counsellors. This is video counselling from your phone, tablet or laptop. You can choose the time and frequency of your sessions and during these sessions, you will learn strategies and make plans of action to deal with situations that make you angry and get ongoing feedback and help.
As you get on top of your anger you will find you no longer need any regular counselling sessions. Once you have learnt to control your anger this will be a useful life skill going forwards.