Anger is a natural emotion. A normal emotion. It can come as a normal reaction to frustration, criticism or a threatening situation and gives feelings of displeasure, dislike or irritation. You can also get angry as a delayed response to feelings of grief, sadness, loneliness or after having a fright.
But when it gets out of control and turns to rage,
a destructive form, it causes problems.
Personal relationships start to suffer. Work suffers, perhaps from the loss of a promotion or a reduction in earnings. But you also experience physical health changes with increased heart rate, increased blood pressure and increased adrenaline levels. In the long term, these also have a destructive impact on your health.
Although anger can occur following an argument you started, this isn’t the most common cause. In most cases, anger is the result of a very real and valid reason where you felt you were at the receiving end of the poor behaviour of others, or righteous anger at the way things are going in the world.
Common triggers at home are grief, burglary, related to illness or financial issues. Other triggers can make things worse such as traffic jams, queues, rude service or things not working properly.
At work, stress from deadlines or things not going well, awkward customers or colleagues can also be powerful triggers.
The physical health changes of an increased heart rate, increased blood pressure and increased adrenaline levels produce a higher risk of a heart attack or stroke. It also produces headaches, backache, insomnia, digestive problems and increased susceptibility to colds and flu. And can lead to depression.
Anger Management Therapy is one of the best ways of dealing with anger. You work with a trained therapist to identify what makes you angry; you’ll learn how to respond in a non-aggressive way and how to re-direct the energy you normally use in getting angry into problem-solving instead.
A therapist will help you develop a plan of action for when you sense your anger levels rising. This will help deal with everyday situations more calmly than before. This sounds easy. And it is, in theory, but can be harder in practice. Having an independent person to look at situations with you can help find new ways of dealing with them. They can also offer reassurance if your new behaviours relapse occasionally.
Mynurva provides confidential video counselling for anger issues from your phone, tablet or laptop. You choose the time and frequency of your sessions where you’ll learn strategies and make action plans to deal with situations that make you angry. You’ll get useful ongoing feedback and help from a trained counsellor.
As you take control of your anger you’ll find you no longer need regular counselling sessions. Once you have learnt to control your anger this will be a useful life skill going forward.